


After

by happydaygirl



Category: Red Dwarf (UK TV)
Genre: Demons and Angels, Episode Tag, Gen, Panic Attack, mental health, rimmer actually being a good friend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2020-09-14
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:00:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26459854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/happydaygirl/pseuds/happydaygirl
Summary: Tag to ‘Demons and Angels.’ Following the events of the day, Lister is not ok. He finally crumbles in front of Rimmer, who has to help him through it the best he can.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 20





	After

Rimmer looks up as Lister stumbles into the main area of Starbug from the cockpit, massaging his cheeks for the hundredth time. ‘Still stinging?’ He asks lightly, before turning back to his hologromatic copy of “Morris Dancing Monthly.’

‘You should have stopped him, man...’ Lister sits down heavily next to Rimmer at the table, shaking his head. ‘He made me hit myself so many times I feel like I’ve got concussion.’

‘It was hilarious!’ Rimmer shakes his head at the memory, grinning, before he looks over at his bunk mate and the smile dies on his face. ‘Lister?’ He asks, head cocked to one side as he sees tears well up in Lister’s eyes. ‘It was only meant to be a joke…’ he says quietly, now frowning as Lister’s cheeks go pink and he angrily wipes his face.

‘You guys have no idea what those…what those monsters made me do.’ He says, voice barely more than a whisper. He sits forward on his chair, elbows resting on his knees, ‘They made me pour hot water over me love spuds, and I- I couldn’t stop it. I just had to let it happen like an idiot…’

‘Lister I had no idea, I -‘ Rimmer’s eyes widen as Lister shakes his head and puts a hand out to stop him speaking.

‘They made me walk over to their fridge and crush my face in the door, and-and…’ Rimmer watches as Lister now buries his face in his hands, shaking his head as the memory obviously overwhelms him.

He wants to put a hand on the younger man’s shoulder as Lister sucks in a shaky breath, but he knows he can’t- he settles for scooching closer, putting himself as close as he can to the other man- maybe the minute electrical impulses from his light bee can offer some comfort with their tiny psychical presence?

‘What else, Listy?’ He says after a few minutes, hoping against hope Cat or Kryten don’t walk in. Lister needs to get this out- he knows all too well why and how holding things back makes trauma worse. ‘Talk to me.’ He says gently, before he waits for Lister to lower his hands to look at him, eyes red rimmed.

‘They had a giant tarantula in a box,’ Rimmer feels his nose scrunch involuntarily, but he knows this isn’t about him. It’s about the terrified young man next to him, shaking in his long johns at the mere memory.

‘What did they do?’ He asks, voice low.

‘They…’ Lister swallows hard, eyes glassy once more as he looks at the other man. ‘They made me eat it, Rimmer…’

‘What?’ Rimmer can’t contain his disgust. ‘Eat it!?’ For the first time in many months, years even, he wishes he wasn’t dead. Not for his own sake, of course, he’s never stopped wishing he was alive for his own sake, but for someone else’s sake- The man beside him, trying to withhold his tears, is in desperate need of comfort. He’s never been the world’s most tactile man, but he wasn’t a complete robot either.

Lister looks like the scared young man he was faced with at the very beginning, when he was left with the prospect of being the only man left alive, his whole life in tatters.

Lister sucks in another haggard breath, but it catches in his throat, and he starts coughing and breathing heavily, almost retching as he fights to breathe. Eyes wide, Rimmer sits back as Lister sags forwards, choking on his breaths- he’s had enough panic attacks in his life (and death) that he recognises one instantly.

‘Listy you need to breathe…’ he says, wishing he can hold the man steady, to force him to breathe. ‘Lister!’ He says, voice harder. If he had a corporeal prescence he would have shook his shoulders, but shouting would have to do.

‘Come on Listy, you need to breathe!’ He looks up as the door to the cockpit opens and Kryten stands in the doorway, a confused look on his face.

‘Is everything alright in here?’ He asks, looking around, ‘I heard raised voices.’

‘Everything’s ok here Kryten-‘ Rimmer waves him away as Lister shrinks down, cheeks reddening again. ‘Go back and get us the hell out of here!’

‘As you wish, Sir-‘

‘Oh, and Kryten?’

‘Yes, Sir?’

‘Keep the Cat away from here at all costs! Lock the door until I tell you to unlock it!’

‘Alright, Sir…’ Kryten steps back and the door shuts, leaving the two of them alone again.

‘Listy, breathe,’ Rimmer says, voice now gentler as he looks back down at Lister, who was clutching the side of the table, face to the floor as he struggled to breathe. ‘Come on, breathe with me…’ he says, kneeling down in front of Lister so they were facing each other now.

‘Come on,’ he says, their eyes meeting finally. ‘In….and out….in…..and out….’ He says, watching as Lister does as he’s asked. They breathe together, Rimmer never taking his eyes off the younger man as Lister fights for every breath. Slowly, slowly, the gasps and shaky breaths subside and he sits up, wiping his sweaty face and tear- stained cheeks.

‘Keep breathing Listy, nice and steady….’ Rimmer instructs as he sits back down on his own chair, looking across worriedly at the other man.

A few weighted seconds pass as Lister finally gets his breathing under control. He sits back heavily, shaking his head. ‘Thanks, man…’ he says after a while, looking over at Rimmer. ‘I haven’t had a panic attack for years…How did you know what to do so quickly?’

‘It’s a case of “been there, done that, got the lifetime supply of t-shirts in the cupboard,” Listy.’ Rimmer says, eyes still narrowed in a concerned frown. ‘How are you feeling now?’

‘Tired.’

‘Yes, that does tend to happen.’ Rimmer nods, sighing. ‘Maybe you should grab a couple of hours while we get back to Red Dwarf.’

‘Don’t know if I can sleep..’ Lister shudders, his face warped in a haunted expression.

‘You’ve got to try Listy, you’ve just had a panic attack after what can only be described as the day from hell!’

‘Alright man, I’ll try,’ Lister nods, as he stands up shakily. As he stumbles into the table leg on his way out, Rimmer forgets himself for the first time in months and darts forwards to try and take his arm to steady him. This doesn’t go unnoticed by the other man, who shoots him a small, grateful smile. ‘Cheers man, for everything you did back there. I appreciate it.’

It’s Rimmer who now goes pink, and he waves off the thanks awkwardly and goes back to his magazine. He hears Lister make his way to the door.

‘I’ll come and check on you in a few minutes,’ he says, before his eyes widen- did he really just say that?!

He hears a small, amused exhalation of breath from the door. ‘I know you will…’ Lister replies, before he shuts the door with a snap, leaving Rimmer alone with his thoughts.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Please let me know what you think, I would love to hear your thoughts!


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